Erica Heller Posted December 2, 2008 08:19 AM (EST) Like most of us yesterday morning, I held my breath as I watched Barack Obama's Cavalcade of Stars take their place on stage with him and make history. I held my breath, I realized later, purely out of habit, since this is what I have been doing for roughly the past 8 years, every time anything remotely presidential was put forth on television. Well, let us hope that "The horror, the horror!" as Kurtz put it in Heart of Darkness, has only 45+ days to go. Then we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief, powerful enough to begin to blow away the cheesy stench of America's rotten reputation -- and unfathomable deeds -- committed around the world in the name of patriotism and freedom. Just one thing, though? What on earth will we do for laughs? Sure, Robert Gates sounds more than a little bit like Truman Capote, but even Truman was nothing to laugh at. Nero may or may not have fiddled while Rome burned but Condoleezza Rice has definitely played piano for the Queen of England. Smell smoke, anyone? Not funny. Will we ever laugh again? There is just no way that the eloquent and erudite, brilliant Barack will assault our ears with Quayle-isms such as how we must put "food on our families". He will, in all likelihood, never encourage or inspire anyone to rename the croissant the Chicago Crescent Roll just because France doesn't vote with him to kill people and destroy a culture because his father was a chilly parent or he thinks the whole globe is just one huge OK Corral. Will Barack think the Prado in Madrid is where people shop for designer handbags and shoes? I think not. And even though I have not stopped pinching myself since November 4th at roughly 11:00 PM EST, I have wondered, more and more over recent days, what on earth all of us are going to do for humor from now on. Will Michael Moore start going to the gym every day and work on his tan? Will Jon Stewart and Bill Maher become The Sunshine Boys? Will Stephen Colbert join them for a brisk weekly game of mahjhong around the pool at the Fountainbleau in Miami? Oh, say it aint so, Joe! As I see it, there is only one reasonable reaction to the current state of affairs, the perilous risk of edgy comic drought. Barack Obama must go back on television as soon as he can to fill the one appalling gap in his shining galaxy. He must appoint Larry David Secretary of Humor. There was never a better time and there is certainly not a more appropriate person. Of course, Mr. David will (perhaps respectfully) decline, but that just makes him our Larry. The truth is, he already has a job. He must, after all, go back to the business of counting the stolen shrimp in his Chinese take-out, beating the batteries out of his smoke detector, whistling Wagner, placating Jeff, disgusting Susie and skyrocketing the blood pressure of Richard Lewis. We cannot begrudge him this. In fact, word has it that Curb Your Enthusiasm is going to be shooting its next season soon. And with brains and class, compassion and global competency ready to move into the White House, with the world in tatters and our economy in the toilet, all I can say to LD is: "Please, don't be a schmohawk. Work hard. Work fast. Edit quickly." I beg you. Laughter has never been more precious.
Mini-Tour News TJGT Thanksgiving Mini-Tour Holiday ClassicNovember 30, 2008 The TJGT Thanksgiving Mini-Tour Holiday Classic played at the Horseshoe Bay Resort on the Slick Rock Golf Club course November 29th & 30th in windy and cool conditions. This 36-hole nationally-ranked event see over 30 players 13 and under tee it up with the Boys 12-13 playing 5,438 yards, the Boys 10-11 playing 5,377 yards, and all players 8-9 playing 3,942 yards. Lots of great golf on one of the state’s toughest tracks. Event recap: Boys 8-9 Cole Hammer defeats Zane Warren on the first playoff with a birdie. Daniel Martinez continues to dominate the boys 8-9 division…outstanding second round 68 in very windy conditions. Overall, the play in the 8-9 year-old division was outstanding. Reese Ramsey played extremely well with consecutive evenpar rounds, and Zane Warren, Cole Hammer, and PJ Schmitz all played extremely well. Top finishers: Daniel Martinez, Austin, 2017; 74-68-142 Reese Ramsey, Austin,2017; 72-72-144 Cole Hammer, Houston, 2018; 76-75-151 Zane Warren, Sugar Land, 2017; 76-75-151 Boys 10-11 Charles Kim notches another win on the EMT with solid play all weekend, beats Mason Greenberg by one stroke. Greenberg played very well the second day in the windy conditions with a second round 77. Top finishers: Charles Kim, Cedar Park, 2015; 75-79-154 Mason Greenberg, Southlake, 2016; 78-77-155 Mauricio Cohn, San Antonio, 2015; 82-83-165 Boys 12-13 Johnathan Vasquez took control of the 12-13 division with a great round of 73 on Saturday, then followed that up with a very respectable 80 in the wind on Sunday. Brennan LeBlanc put up quite a fight with very solid play both days. Johnny Jones fires an impressive 77 in the second round to move into third place. Top finishers: Johnathan Vasquez, Bryan, 2014, 73-80-153 Brennan LeBlanc, Baton Rouge, LA, 2014, 76-81-157 Johnny Jones, The Colony, 2015, 84-77-161 Girls 8-9 Hannah Liu wins the girls 8-9 year old division with great play in the cold weather. This is a talented young lady… Top finishers: Hanna Liu, Austin, 2018; 93-95-188